To conquer frustration, one must remain intensely focused on the outcome, not the obstacles.
– T.F. Hodge
What does wanting to be a filmmaker, writer, creative director, and entrepreneur all have in common? Well besides being all over the place…resources, resources, and more resources! Thank God we live in a time with more opportunities to take your future into your own hands. And although there are more chances it’s never going to be EASY! For instance, I had wanted to start a blog ever since I was eighteen years old! At first, I struggled with not knowing what I wanted to talk about or wondered who would really care for what I had to say? A couple of years went by before I actually looked into what creating a blog actually entailed.
Because I am a bit of a perfectionist, I didn’t want to just put anything out. It had to be held to a certain standard in my mind before I created it. And in order to meet those expectations I needed some money, I needed the time, I needed the right tools, and I needed to network with the right people. Hmmm…sounds similar to filmmaking, and art direction, oh yeah and starting your own business! In learning to let perfection go, I had to make a realistic plan and follow through. I had to save some money for equipment and create a mini-budget. I had to get out of my hermit bubble and network with other bloggers. I needed to sacrifice some time to prioritize blogging. I needed to accept that with starting out it’s not going to be perfect, I just have to do the best I can and work my way up to my ideal site and brand. Now I’m in the next phase executing the most realistic plan I had in creating the blog I’ve always wanted to create. And It’s those baby steps that help relieve your frustration. Keep reading for a breakdown of the “Resourcefully Frustrated” limbo.
“The Resourcefully Frustrated” has many frustrations, ranging from finances, time, access, and necessities. You’re not so much the problem, but the few resources you have available are. You’re left at a standstill, feeling as though your journey is on pause, and there’s nothing you can do about it.There comes a time where you have to invest in yourself and your dreams, so the resourcefully frustrated must become a steadfast planner. In order to develop this plan, you need alternatives and courses of action. This is something encouraging to help you deal with your frustration while setting a realistic goal in being able to achieve whatever it is your striving for.
- When going for certain opportunities, you’re not considered for unfair and less objective reasons.
- You have everything needed to pursue an opportunity….but the money!
- When your creative juices are flowing you get discouraged once you realize you have no way to execute them.
- You’re qualified regarding your education but don’t have enough “work experience.”
- Your debt won’t allow you to pursue something that could get you out of debt.
- If it’s not one thing happening in your life, it’s another, it just seems you can’t catch a break.
- You’ve become a habitual planner, due to the obstacles that come up.
- You miss out on things because you haven’t linked up with the right people.
The main causes of this limbo all relate to a difficulty with attaining certain resources.
1. The In-Between
The in-between is that stupid place of having enough…but not “exactly” enough. It’s getting the degree but when going for the job not having enough work experience. It’s having experience but not being specifically qualified even though you could do the job with your eyes closed. It’s being offered an amazing opportunity but not getting it to a technicality. It’s taking one step forward only to be pushed two steps back. It’s looking out for others and helping them, but not having the same in return. In a nutshell the in-between is your own version of Alanis Morsette’s song “Ironic…” and it figures.
THE FIX: Find your hustle! Sometimes you have to claw, kick, scream, cry, and laugh your way out of this in-between. Beyonce is not the only one who can make lemonade out of lemons, ok! After re-evaluating if what you’re striving for is truly what you want, you now have to make a conscious decision. You can re-strategize and do what’s needed. For instance, if you don’t have enough work experience through an internship or finding a mentor. Or you could create your own way to make it happen. You might have to pick up a side job doing something you don’t particularly care for, but that’s all apart of your hustle. It’s scarier but if you believe and have faith, it’s possible. Warning…be ready for many tests and sacrifices. Look into ways that best suit your needs to make your goal possible. Either path you choose it demands you KEEP GOING!
Money makes the world go round and if you don’t have as much of it sometimes it seems like the world is telling you…”sorry guest you’re just S.O.L. (shit out of luck)!” It sucks having ideas or wanting to pursue something and make better for yourself, but your finances hold you back. Then you sometimes face the dilemma of going for whatever it is you’re trying to pursue that could possibly dig you into an even deeper lurch than you’re already in. That new house, or attending college, or a downpayment for a new business that may require a loan, finds you in a predicament where you question if it’s truly your way out? Or Is it really worth it? Maybe it’s even something as simple as getting the right outfit or the proper equipment needed for a job. Whatever the scenario your pockets won’t allow it.
THE FIX: a) Evaluate all of your finances. Before you do anything you need to know exactly what you’re working with. b) Research the dynamics of your goal. What are the cost? What is the exact process? What are your options? Who or where can you get help? c) Make a plan that includes cost of living, your targeted savings, debt repayment prep, a realistic timeframe, and whatever specific financial necessities and responsibilities related to your lifestyle. d) Maintain the discipline to STICK TO THE PLAN!
Resources is such a broad term, but in this sense it’s three-fold. It’s either how you need to do it, what you need to do it, or who need to do it. My mom is a teacher. And I grew up with the philosophy that education is the key to success. Educating yourself on whatever area or obstacle you face is important to overcoming it. And as previously mentioned, sometimes it’s specific things like equipment or wardrobe, ecetera. But there is a flip-side. I know you’ve heard the saying “It’s not what you know but who you know.” Majority of the time that happens to be the case. It’s a shame and occasionally unfair but, it’s true. Sometimes in order to get to where you’re going, you have to link up with the right people. And when you’re in a situation where you have no prospects or no idea how it leaves you in a uniquely difficult bind.
THE FIX: Network! Even though the idea of networking makes me cringe it is absolutely necessary. And with social media and various networking apps, there’s no excuse. Knowing who or the types of people you need to connect with and making contact is the best option. Also, figure out the best opportunity to learn. Is it a new class, is it a workshop or seminar, or do you need to actually enroll into school? Discover what you need and determine your best path to get it. Will you have to save money, can your borrow or rent. Networking can even go hand in hand with this because you can link up with certain contacts who have accessibility to what you need!
Even when you don’t really want to achieve the impossible, sometimes you want certain achievements for yourself that you can’t attain. The key to getting through your struggle is remaining steadfast. Don’t become a habitual planner, set realistic goals and kick ass! On rare occasions, you have to step out on faith and go for things. But there is a difference between taking a chance and not being smart. Smart isn’t always the best choice, there have been tons of successful people down and out who took a chance that got them to where they are today. And that has to be a risk you’re willing to take and be held ACCOUNTABLE for.
I graduated with a Master’s degree and thought job hunting was going to be a little easier. Wrong! It hasn’t necessarily been a walk in the park. Dealing with life and just wanting someone to take a chance on me to get experience, can be a bit like torture. I made the conscious decision to make a path for myself, instead of trying to follow someone else’s or fit the mold of what’s expected. A thought that even as I write about it makes me excited and then immediately makes me uneasy. What I do know is, I didn’t want to regret not trying. That is what motivated me most. As long as you can live with it and learn from it; you can’t regret it. It’s important to hold on to the fact that whatever curveball that is thrown at you or makes you frustrated and discouraged becomes another plot twist in your story. And the plot twist always tests the character!
So, can you relate to being Resourcefully Frustrated? Do you know someone who is in the same situation? If so, share and comment on your experience and let me know how you can relate to this limbo!